The Sunday Limerick #2

.
There once was a writer named Shane
Who frequently lied when he came
"I'll get hard again soon
We'll fuck all afternoon
But for now my cocks floppy and lame!"

(by S. Levene)
--- - ---

There once was a homo called Tristram
Who murdered his boyfriend then missed him
He missed him so much
With sense he lost touch
But at least he escaped from The System!

(My first and last limerick!)*
by Joe M
 --- - ---


*Liar, he'll give us another winning entry next week!

22 comments:

  1. Never! I'll save them all up in a closet, like a limerick-writing J.D Salinger. Wouldn't it be funny if that's all they found written by Salinger - reams of the exact same limerick, like Jack Nicholson's typing in The Shining.

    (I should point out that the Maud one wasn't written by me!)

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  2. Wouldn't it be even funnier if they found one unfinished limerick by J.D Salinger because he had foolishly ended the first line with the word 'purple'.

    I've never read Catcher in the Rye... all I know is that it was the book Mark Chapman carried about with him leading up to the shooting of Lennon.

    Have you seen the film Chapter27 with Jared Leto as Chapman? If not try and get a copy... you may enjoy that one. X

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  3. He could affect a farmer's voice and rhyme it with Miss Murple...

    I haven't seen that film. Chapman is a complete nothing. Like most serial killers.

    I loved Catcher in the Rye. Apart from Chapman,after John Hinckley, Jr.'s assassination attempt on Ronald Reagan in 1981, police found The Catcher in the Rye among half a dozen other books in his hotel room.

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  4. Was Chapman a serial killer? Just how many times did he kill Lennon? X

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  5. Pedant!

    Actually I didn't actually say he was a serial killer. He is a nothing. Most serial killers are nothings. Two separate statements!

    Though I bet he was - I bet he escaped from jail (helped by a Paul McCartney idolizer) and bumped off Kurt Cobain, gave Freddie Mercury AIDS and went back in time to feed Elvis all those peanut jelly burgers...

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  6. Pedant!

    Actually I didn't actually say he was a serial killer. He is a nothing. Most serial killers are nothings. Two separate statements!

    Though I bet he was - I bet he escaped from jail (helped by a Paul McCartney idolizer) and bumped off Kurt Cobain, gave Freddie Mercury AIDS and went back in time to feed Elvis all those peanut jelly burgers...

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  7. Joe, Chapman was a creep but I'm not a pedant... (I'm trying to think of something clever to say but just can't!!! OMG... I've lost it!)

    X

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  8. Thanks Ruth! You'll have to try and write us one for next sunday... can be rude, tame, serious.. whatever you want. The only rule is it's not allowed to be better than mine, but other than that anything goes! X

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  9. Ok, I better get on with this Ransack business. It's boring the shit outta me and I want to get on to other things. I think it'll be wrapped up in the next two posts... though there's not really anything to wrap up... maybe...

    X

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  10. Not a pedant of course. I can't think of anything funny to say either, but the word 'pedant' seems to invite it.

    I like the Ransack stuff. Though I'm eager to re-visit the Lyon Post-It-er.

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  11. I think I was going to abandon the Lyon Post-IT-er... but I'll keep it going in some way.

    It's very difficult to slip in and out of characters in tales that are of a completely different tone. It's not a problem if one story ends and another begins, but trying to do them all simultaneously is very difficult (for me).

    Even yesterday when I jumped back into Spencer's skin for the tribute comment it was so difficult trying to capture his voice, and yet at the time it was second nature. I seriously lived and breathed Tristram in those 8 months or so... I was him and was very rarely out of character. Of course a lot was me anyway, or an exaggeration of me, but I really started looking on the world with his eyes and thinking in his thoughts. It was a nice experience and felt like he passed those months with me. That's schizophrenia isn't it? haha... Becoming two people and not feeling alone.

    X

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  12. If you're finishing off the Post-it-er and Ransack, maybe you could combine them in some way - have the body something to do with the Lyon person.

    Strangely and frighteningly I find it quite easy to 'become' Abigail. I got used to doing it on and off at DC's when she was 'Edna'. Perhaps it's because she is a less nuanced character than Tristy. Less baggage/back story. Though hopefully she will become more complicated via a book. I certainly have a load of background ideas for her.

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  13. I think I'll keep the Post-IT-er...that was really me and my little chance to not have a character (much)and just write. So I think I will keep it but maybe have them just as nice portions of writing in themselves with no huge storyline pulling it together. It's something that could just go on forever and I can use whenever I'm stuck for a post.

    Yes, I've noticed you're great at slipping into character, and not just Abigail. Even in your book I have it seems to come very easily to you... way easier than it'll ever be for me.

    I could easily write quick comments in Tristram's voice, but writing something more it'd take a while before I could find him again. It'd be silly things. If someone is smoking without permission in his house, would he pull faces behind their back? Take the cigarette and scrunch it out? Hate them for all of eternity? If he's sitting in a room what will he focus in on? There's a million mundane things in every room, but there's only one boring thing Tristy would look in on... and usually for a reason. Those things used to come absolutely naturally when i was him everday... I wouldn't even have to think about them. Now I would, and he'd seem quite wooden to begin with (as he was at first).

    Do you remember saying "Oh, it's strange you've chosen a posh character!"? I don't think Tristram was posh in the end, but when you made that he was. He was because he was hollow... just a shape with words. And so he used english and it's only real purpose was to express what he wanted to say. But then I started discovering a language of his own, his words and rhythm and how he would curse and express things. I suppose I really found him in the first tenth of the book, but at first he was just a voice who had stuff to say.

    More than anything, the reason I have chosen to write Bubblegum is as a 'live' exercise in plot and character, and to learn to write a more structured literature. That's not what's at my heart, but it seems important to be able to do it (and do it very well) if I'm going to decide to not do it in future. It's why I have some concerns over what I'm doing here, as it is an exercise most writers would do in private (me included) but I'm doing it to an audience. But the truth is I can only write to an audience. If it was just for myself I'd keep them as thoughts in my head and never waste my time getting them out and down... It'd seem pointless. I need deadlines and expectations to perform. Without them I'd really never do anything. Writing publicly brings other problems though, but it works for me.

    That kinda brings us back to what you said on DC's about me championing internet writing. I need the immediacy of that. I'd have no chance of getting published if I had to do it the old way... type out manuscripts, retype them, collate all the pages, package them, search out agents and publishers, put stamps on the manus, post them off, etc... wait wondering if its been read yet... wondering what they thought? did they think anything? I couldn't do it. I wouldn't ever get the stamps on the envelope to get it there. I'm useless at those things. I can't even post my bills off on time... even when I can pay them. So the internet suits me fine and is the only way I could exist as a writer. I thionk...

    Pheww... I've written a fair bit in the last 12 hours Joe! Sometimes I get like this. From what I expect top be a one paragraph answer I'm suddenly branching off onto all and everything. People will probably think that's when I'm stoned, but it's not... I'm stone cold sober and have been the last two day. It just sometimes happens. (And some poor git has to read it!) X

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  14. I don't remember saying "Oh, it's strange you've chosen a posh character!". But there's very little I remember these days! I came up with a name for Abigail's nephew then forgot it. I'd noted it on a word document I keep on the desktop for things like that. Then the laptop stopped working. And I just got it back.

    I've been online commenting a lot since the Antonio news came through. Been on DC's more in the past 2 weeks than for a long time. But it's nearly time to go back to lurkerdome I think.

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  15. I haven't written a limerick since middle school, I think, I'll have to give it a shot.
    I guess I missed the Tristram comment, where is it hidden?
    Oh and Joe I have to tell you I really loved Abigail, I hope so so so much more comes of her.

    The Kingdom Comes,
    D R .

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  16. God, I've been trying to find where you said that 'posh' thing (or 'upperclass'???) but I can't find it just yet. I will though.

    Yes, I saw you was writing tremendous amounts also. I like it. I really, REALLY hope that one day we can have our books on the same shelf and do some signings or readings together. You're one of the writers whose name, if I ever have any proper success in my lifetime, will never be far from anything I do. I know I've told you before, but I still don't think I stressed enough just how your very first comments of my work changed everything. In a weird way they completed me as a writer. Not that I'm complete - I'm not (it's a never ending learning process and we can always improve) but I was completed in the sense that I became publishable after your words, and my reaction to them.

    I started to read my own words differently. I went back to study other writers, but for the small things I'd never taken notice of before. I became confident in the good things and modest in other areas which I could hugely improve upon. I learnt to see all the stuff inbetween the 'home-run' lines and sentences. It was an epiphany. And especially coming from an already published writer, who knew first-hand what it took to write professionally and be publishable. It was really a before and after moment. I mean it, I want that to go down in history. I became a writer only after that point, and may never have done so if our paths hadn't have crossed.

    And that's not my imagination either. It was with the few following posts on Memoires (after your words) which really started getting peoples attention and they began saying some really serious stuff about my words.It was also from that moment where I attracted a different class of reader and started having other writers, artists and publishers show proper interest. I think from that point on people never referred to me as a 'blogger' or a 'wannabe writer' but as a 'writer'. Something had changed and I could feel it more than anyone. Even today I redraft using the eyes I acquired from you.

    So I really, really, REALLY hope that we get what we deserve... even a little less, I don't care, but at least enough to allow us to do what we do best and maybe have joint book releases, signings and readings one day. I'm personally so optimistic that I think it's just a matter of time. That's not based on thin air, but on a gradual building of events over the past 18 months which really seem to be leading close to the right doors. I really feel like something will happen any moment now. I also feel like I'm just falling into a tremendously creative period.

    Tell me how you're getting on with the Abigail book, Joe... by email, and in your own time if you like. Have you started the writing process at all? I wish you would. You've your very own voice and it's very distinct from any of the other writers over on DC's (who seem to want nothing more than to be him.)We have to do something, Joe... really, the talent we harbour between us surely can't just lead to nowhere. X

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  17. Hey Dusty, the Tristram thing is over in DC's comment section (saturday post: Antonio Urdiales part 2). He was brought out because I was too much of a coward to write anything myself! hahha.

    I mention you in DC's comment section of today, so try and catch that while you're at it.

    YEAH, DEFINITELY write a Limerick!!!! It'd be a real honour to have something from You here. You've six days and they're not nightmares top write. Anything will do.. as long as it's by You. (No cheating like Joe!)

    XXX

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  18. Joe, you see Dusty's comment? Another huge Abigail fan! X

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  19. Sorry Dusty, both Tristram and your mention are on the same day, in the comments of this post:

    http://denniscooper-theweaklings.blogspot.com/2011/08/weekend-for-and-by-antonio-urdiales-day_27.html

    Your mention is right at the end with me commenting as Bubblegum. X

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  20. Thanks Dusty (Dr!) and Shane. Well Shane my comments were of course based on what you wrote, so that's really the origin of it all. It seems strange that I came over from DC's to see what the son of the victim of a serial killer wrote like! That's all the least of it now. probably a lot of your newer readers don't even know about that, unless they read the little sidebar.

    I've got the outline of where Abigail goes and know it will all get done. I've done some short 'finished' bits that are background but I think the writing of the narrative will be quite speedy and intense, which is why I'm putting it off all the time.

    In a way some big questions have to be decided - but will work either way. I have this feeling of 'fate' - like if I hadn't taken so long all the characters from the comments on Waiting for John - Thick Blue Glasses etc - wouldn't have emerged. That was fun.

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  21. Well that was just doubly amazing. And, an idea huh!?
    p.s. I thought your idea for Dennis was awfully nice.

    The Kingdom Comes
    D R .

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If you're here to write something malicious I thank you in advance for wasting your precious time on me. X